Oct

The work of a Pokémon master guild is never done. It turns out that our reputation as dependable and innovative pokémon problem solvers had spread throughout Azeroth, even into the depths of AQ. Here lived Ouro the Caterpillar, and this is his story.

Ouro hatched into a happy childhood in Elwynn Forest among many other caterpillar type pokémon. (Yes, Ouro is a caterpie for all you aspiring and veteran pokémon masters. And yes, as a bug-type pokémon, caterpie is vulnerable to fire-, flying-, poison-, and rock-types and is resistant to grass-, ground-, and fighting-types.) Ouro was always the largest and strongest caterpie around, and he collected athletic awards and accolades throughout junior high and high school.

Soon, however, things took a turn for the worse. All his friend caterpies started pokevolving into metapods and later into beautiful butterfrees while Ouro only became a bigger and bigger caterpillar. As hard as he tried, Ouro just couldn’t figure out how to pokevolve and soon became the object of shame and ridicule. His self-esteem became so low that he fled into AQ and even had to burrow into the ground during his most depressed times.

Ouro received news of a smart and dependable pokémon master guild, Renaissance, and sought us for a solution to his pokevolving predicament. It soon became obvious to us that his strength and prowess since childhood had not allowed him to face dire and dangerous situations ever (a common catalyst for pokevolution). Thus, Renaissance busted into AQ and attacked Ouro with all our might. After pummeling Ouro for a few minutes, he promptly shed his skin, covered himself in silk, and became a cocoon pokémon. We left him in peace after that.

Days later, from the towers of Stormwind Keep, we saw the largest most beautiful butterfly we had ever seen flying around. This butterfly came close and whispered with a gentle zephy, “This is Ouro! Thank you, Renaissance!” You are quite welcome. Just for your information, if anyone tells you that the word butterfly came from a metathesis of the word “flutterby,” you should tell them they are mistaken and inform them that it comes from the Old English word buttorfleoge because butterflies were thought to steal milk.

Renaissance’s New Motto: protecting Azeroth from Ragnaros, Onyxia, Nefarian, bubons, and solving pokémon problems?